she is stuck in a lucid haze of purple, lingering at the edges of her vision like the fog that blankets new york in the mornings. she rolls her head from side to side and blinks a few times and it is still there, a thin violet veil reminding her that even her own eyes are untrustworthy. what is real and what is a figment of the dark liquid seeping from the syringe tied to her arm, spreading through her veins and poisoning her mind like the murky city water that made her sick as a child? it is impossible to tell.
she tugs on the leather belts encircling her wrists and ankles that have kept her bound to the padded table for x number of hours, days, weeks... she no longer knows. all she knows is the purple mist, and the wrinkled forehead and glinting gray eyes of the man who occasionally comes to remove the muzzle from her mouth and spoon feed her from a jar of something with the taste and consistency of baby food. he then pats the remnants from around her mouth with a napkin, smiling like an affectionate grandfather, and slips the muzzle back over her weakly protesting lips.
there are others in this place, she knows it. she can hear their muffled cries and whimpers through the walls. occasionally she even hears them calling out words, usually names, although these ones are quickly silenced as she was. it took only a couple nights of frantic screaming before the muzzle was applied. didn't want her disturbing others patients, they said. could interfere with test results.
during the day she is allowed to roam the halls, twisting the metal bracelet around her wrist that will sound an alarm if she tries to escape. she listens to the padding of her bare feet on the tiled floor and the swishing of the hospital gown as it brushes her legs and tries to remember if this is what the sound of rain falling and wind whistling through trees is like. at night is is back to the bed and the needle and the dreams that haunt her even with her eyes open, flitting around the room and crowding against the bed and smiling at her with bloodshot eyes and nailsharp teeth.
and all she can do is bite down on the leather in her mouth and swallow her screams.